I’m not going to go through this whole thing. You can read it yourself and instantly know that it’s a piece of utter dreck. That said, there are a few choice moments that I feel are worth highlighting. For instance:
Antidote to NFL Crime: Tebow in First Round
Apparently if Tim Tebow had just been around to preach his message of abstinence and chastity, BenRo wouldn’t be (allegedly) assaulting women in restaurants.
If I ran an NFL franchise, I'd draft Tim Tebow in the first round and, for now, put him in a mascot suit. He's the perfect anti-toxin for what ails the NFL, the annual roll call of bad actors that now focuses on Ben Roethlisberger and what should be a four-game suspension, or much longer if the raw, creepy details of what happened that night in a Georgia bathroom stall are remotely accurate.
See! Jay wants the Rams to draft Tebow and dress him up like Sexual Harassment Panda. I knew it!
That’s enough of that. Mariotti is seriously arguing that he’s worth 1st round money just because he’s a good guy (allegedly). That’s a stupid idea and it’s not worth my time to beat it to death. But Jay ups the stupid a bit when we get to this:
The Vikings, drafting 30th in the first round, need help on defense. But with Favre in his gray-bearded twilight, why wouldn't an innovator such as coach Brad Childress bring Tebow into the fold as a weapon to augment Adrian Peterson, Sidney Rice, former Florida teammate Percy Harvin, Bernard Berrian and Visanthe Shiancoe?
The italics are mine. An innovator such as Brad Childress? Brad Childress is some kind of football genius now? Will he teach Tim Tebow how to fart away timeouts and call ineffective running plays at inappropriate times? How to waste time at the end of games and have too many men on the field when you’re in field goal range?
Do you think that Jay Mariotti actually watches any sports?
56 minutes ago