The Ridiculous ESPN Obsession With Michael Vick

Apparently Michael Vick gets out of prison soon, and while All-Star games and Boston College beating Duke might excite some, speculation about the future of a lousy, incarcerated non-quarterback is apparently more exciting. Fair enough.

I’d like to chip in my two cents and advocate for Vick’s immediate reinstatement. Please do not take my stance as an endorsement of dog fighting or anything like that. I assure you that I believe Vick to be a scumball and a criminal, however, I would like to see him back in uniform for the following reasons.

1. I think it is very possible that he would end up on the Vikings, and this would harm the Vikings as a team, as well as hurting their sex-boat besmirched reputation even more.

2. Since Vick was terrible at football before he went to prison, I assume he is now really really terrible at football. He will turn 29 this year, he hasn’t properly trained in a very long time, and to be even marginally effective he needs to be fast.

3. If he does not end up on the Vikings, he could well end up on the Bears, as the Bears’ GM is an idiot.

4. This would help the Packers.

5. Since Vick is terrible, I think allowing him to play would be punishment, whereas further suspension would be an excuse.

I’ve always hated the hype of Michael Vick. His first (full) season was good, but it did not take defenses long to figure out how to stop Michael Vick. You stop Michael Vick by allowing him to throw passes. If you have a quarterback, and he can be shut down simply by allowing him to throw passes, then you do not have a quarterback. Michael Vick has a lower completion percentage than Kyle Boller, Rex Grossman, and Tarvaris Jackson. In 74 games as a pro he has thrown 52 picks, and put the ball on the ground 55 times. For a QB who doesn’t throw many passes, he is a turnover machine. For his career, Michael Vick averaged 6.7 yards per attempt. In 2008, among starting QBs this would have tied him with Brett Favre at 22nd overall, just in front of JaMarcus Russell.

So, Roger Goodell, please reinstate Michael Vick as soon as possible, preferably to the Minnesota Vikings. Packer fans would really appreciate it.