Monday, August 18, 2008

Matt LaPorta Wounded By Communist Fireballer After Bravely Plowing Over Red Catcher

From MLB.com:

Matt LaPorta knocked China's catcher out of the game, Zheng Xu sent LaPorta to a hospital with a beanball, China manager Jim Lefebvre was ejected, Yang Yang hit a symbolic moonshot off Blaine Neal to break up the shutout, and the Americans stayed on semifinal pace with a 9-1 victory.


A symbolic moonshot? Symbolic of what? That America may have the most runs, but China has the prettiest one? That China wants to destroy the moon?

Laynce Nix's brother Jayson (y Mrs. Nix, y?) was earlier drilled in the face by Cuba. I tell you people, the Red Menace is upon us!

7 comments:

E.S.K. said...

i thought olympic baseball was dead?

PaulNoonan said...

This is the last year. The IOC and MLB have been squabbling forever, and I suppose MLb wins here. The IOC only hurts itself by getting rid of it.

DannyNoonan said...

As long as they have synchronized diving and air pistol events, why would they want baseball?

PaulNoonan said...

Or football. I watched Men's Field Hockey on Sunday. Not Hurling, Field Hockey. If other countries can have sports that no one else plays, can't we have football?

E.S.K. said...

I was talking to my girlfriend and we figured that if France gets to have fencing, America should get either tank warfare of jet dogfighting.

It's really only fair.

PaulNoonan said...

Instead of Hurling, the Scots play a similar game called Shinty, and when Hurling teams play against Shinty teams they use hybrid rules. There should definitely be some sport where every country has a "pure" version and everyone' plays a hybrid version in the olympics.

DannyNoonan said...

In the Canadian version of field hockey, they play on ice.