The Chicago Bears are Frauds

There has been far too much talk lately involving the phrase "you are what your record says you are." This is a vast oversimplification which we can disprove with a quick look at the Chicago Bears.

First of all, while the Bears are tied with the Packers after their win against Miami’s backups, it’s worth pointing out that the Bears do not in fact hold a head to head tiebreaker over the Packers. People say it, but it’s not true. The reason it’s not true even though the Bears do have a head to head win against the Packers, against teams in your own division you have to beat them twice to gain that tiebreaker. This is obvious. The Bears will not have an opportunity to secure said tiebreaker until the last game of the year, and who knows what the situation will be for that game.

As for why the Bears are frauds:

1. Win v. Detroit, on nonsense Calvin Johnson rule. After the Bears knocked Matthew Stafford from the game. In a game in which the Bears turned the ball over 4 times and actually lost the turnover battle.

2. Win v. Dallas Cowboys, one of the worst teams in the league even when they still had Romo.

3. Win v. Green Bay Packers – In this game, the Packers set their franchise record for penalties, which is strange in retrospect because this Packer team actually hasn’t been penalized that much. It’s also worth pointing out that many of those penalties were both game-changing and bullshit. Jay Cutler and the Bear offense were basically terrible, but they capitalized on a Devin Hester punt return and good field position (penalties) to eek out a win over a much better team. The Bears were outgained by over 100 yards in this game.

4. Win v. Carolina Panthers, one of the 2 or 3 teams worse than the Dallas Cowboys. The Quarterbacks in this game were Todd Collins, Caleb Hanie, Matt Moore, and Jimmy Clausen. The Bear QBs were 8-19 for 51 yards. Against any other opponent this is almost certainly a loss, but a rare big day by Matt Forte bailed them out.

5. Win v. Buffalo, one of the 2 or 3 teams worse than the Dallas Cowboys. Despite being completely inept the Bears won this game on the strength of a missed PAT and a subsequent missed 2-pt conversion to make up for it. That is the margin of victory.

6. Win v. Minnesota. A rare good performance by the Bears, but even this win is suspect as it came against a team in complete turmoil after the Randy Moss fiasco, with no Sidney Rice and without Percy Harvin for an extended period. With no threat in the passing game the Bears were able to bottle up Adrian Peterson, and get a few tipped interceptions. It was the best possible time to play against the Vikings.

7. Win v. Miami. The Dolphins were playing without their first and second string QBs, a severely injured all-pro left tackle, and they lost their best WR and center early in the game. Oh, and since it was a short week their third string QB only had one day to get ready.

So yeah. They’re lucky. They’ll probably make the playoffs, but they’re truly not very good. It happens sometimes.