Failed to produce the effort to yield proper results afield
Saving the proper wielding of his bat post Wisco
Am I being Clear? Crystal.**
The Cream that made him cream of the crop.
Not trying is worse than any steroid; team over all; team til we drop dead,
Even his rookie card was an error, Topps prophetic.***
Tanking in Milwaukee and Detroit, pathetic.
Worse than Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe or Big Mac,
A hack, a saboteur of pastimes held dear
His crimes are unforgivable.
Mr. Sheffield, meet the mirror.
As for Jeremy Jeffress, we'll go with this one:
*Yes, this may very well be the strangest thing I have ever written. It happens.
**If Mike Skinner is talking, crystal definitely rhymes with Wisco.
***Did anyone else have his Topps Future Star error card? Sheff's head was slightly higher and there was an extra white bar in the lower frame. Here is the non-error version: